About two months ago Rock Jr. (9) started complaining of headaches. Mari (11) had the same problem when she was 8 or 9 yrs. old and her pediatrician said she could just be getting a little dehydrated. Sure enough, her headaches were only on gym days and she was just a little dehydrated. Anyways, we made sure to remind Rock to drink lots of water before and after gym and baseball practice, but the headaches were still coming around almost weekly. So, I made the appointment with his pediatrician. She questioned possible allergies, dehydration, if he's fallen in the past 30 days, bumped his head, and a bunch more questions that all came back "no". She requested that he get a CT scan and my stomach turned. In the back of my mind I had a little worry bird flying around making me think about all the horrible"what ifs". I couldn't help it, I'm a mom. She referred me to Pediatric Imaging and told me to schedule the appointment for their next opening. I could feel my heart pounding faster as she talked. I think she saw my fear, (Rock Jr didn't) and told me I will feel better after we see a clear CT and most likely he's just is having tension headaches. My son??...tension headaches?? He's nine, what can any nine year old be tense about? I guess he was kind of stressing about how his 8's were coming up for his timed multiplication test, but we studied. He had those 8's down!
I made the appointment the next day and got all teary eyed to Rocky Sr. with all the "What Ifs" I was thinking. He told me everything would be OK and not to worry. Rock Jr. is what I always call my healthy kid, rarely gets colds or fevers and now I was scared I jinxed him. We went the next day, Me, Rock and Mari. The nurse was awesome. We had to wait a little while for her to make sure they got all the right images. I could not stop my mind from thinking the worse. I told myself to shut up so many times and kept praying they would find a perfectly healthy brain in there!! Driving home my worries again took over and brought me to tears. Luckily, Mari and Rock were in the backseat talking and laughing and I covered my eyes with my sunglasses.
Our pediatrician stays open to 7p.m. some nights so I called her nurse when we got back to the house to tell her we got the CT scan and asked if she could get back to me that night (if at all possible). She called about a half hour later, (thank goodness) letting me know that NOTHING was wrong with my son (Thank God!!). She said everything looks as it should and to have him to take it easy at his baseball practices and see to her back in 6 months. I got off the phone, told Rocky Sr. and prayed, thanking God for a perfectly healthy son. Those awful thoughts and fears only ended up being thoughts and fears and were off my shoulders the second she said everything looks great.
My heart hurts today for a mother I don't even know and her daughter, Kate. One of the blogs I follow had a link to her website and blog prayforkate.com. Her sweet, beautiful, blue eyed, 6-year old daughter, Kate (McRae) has brain cancer. I'm sure her mother sat and waited having the same worries and fears and thoughts that I had. I'm sure she prayed as hard as I did while waiting to hear her daughter's CT results. I'm sure her husband told her to not worry, that everything would be fine. But for her it wasn't. All of the awful thoughts and fears she probably had, instead came true the second her doctor said everything wasn't OK and her little girl had a massive tumor. She wasn't able to hang up the phone as I did with a sigh of relief. Instead she went from the CT appointment to emergency care to start fighting for her daughter's life. My heart breaks for her, and her family, and her sweet daughter. God has His plan, I will pray that it includes this little girl surviving and beating this horrible, ugly cancer she has, and that she will grow up and live a full, happy life. I will pray for Kate's sister and brother that their hearts won't hurt when their mom or dad are gone caring for Kate. And I will pray and ask God to continue to give Kate's Mom and Dad strength, courage, and hope. I hope one day they will be able to tell everyone that this horribly mean, scary and cruel disease was beaten by their sweet, beautiful, blue-eyed little girl.
Please pray for this family. I'm going to go and squeeze all my babies now!
PrayforKate.com. Kate McRae
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